Dear Alice
by FreddyWins
Summary: In a desperate attempt to find some closure, Bella decides to vent out her frustrations to Alice's old e-mail. She had no idea her messages would be read. Set during New Moon.
1. Truly

Alice,

I know this is stupid. I know you don't check your old e-mail anymore. I know that and I feel dumb writing to a ghost, but I need someone to talk to. So...here goes nothing.

Today was kind of a blur. I mean I don't remember much of what happened. I'm sort of in my own little world these days, you know? No, of course you don't know. How could you? Unless you're still keeping an eye on my future. Are you? Do you even care? I don't think so. You're gone and in _your_ own little world now, huh? You have the love of your existence and he loves you back. You have your brothers and sister and 'parents' and stuff. I get it. Why would you think of me? You do remember me, right? Little old Bella Swan from little old Forks. Yeah, hi. I'm still alive.

I'm sorry if I am coming off as bitter. I think I might be mad at you. I'll let you know when the numbness fades. _If_ it fades, I should say. I actually kind of enjoy the numbness. It's way better than the heartbreak. Dang, the heartbreak. Now there's something to write home about. I had no idea a heart could actually break, but mine did. Over and over and over again. Imagine having your heart ripped into two pieces, then three, then four, then five. It's even more painful than James' bite. That's not even me being melodramatic so don't roll your eyes at me. I'm the one hurting here.

Hey, human feelings are inconsequential, right? They'll fade with time. Right now, however, they're fresh wounds that just keep ripping back open every time I think about...all of you. I may only be human but you all were my family and you kicked me to the curb like I was nothing more than a used piece of tissue paper. It doesn't matter what species you are – human, vampire, dog – it all hurts the same when you're treated like trash.

I guess that's enough whining for one day. I hope I didn't bore you too much.

Truly,

Bella

p.s. Tell Edward I say hi. You know, if he's not too distracted.


	2. Truly Baffled

_Before you read this I'd like to clear something up. This will not just be a story of Bella's letters to Alice. There will be an actual story that this is all leading up to. Just bear with the short letters for a while. Thanks._

* * *

Alice,

It has been only 15 hours since the last message but something happened that I think you'd be happy to hear about. Or, maybe not? I don't even know if you care, but here goes nothing.

I spent the day in Port Angeles with Angela. It wasn't by my own choice. Charlie practically threw me out of the house when Angela stopped by to ask me out for the day – she thinks I'm hibernating and apparently that isn't healthy for a teenage girl.

Anyway, so we were walking by a small cluster of stores when I saw _it_. By 'it' I mean a dress. And by 'dress' I mean hell. And by 'hell' I mean it got me to thinking. I thought; _'Alice would just love to force me into that torture device.' _Are you seeing my problem? I thought about you and it really messed me up. My day was going so well before that. I was actually enjoying my time out with Angela and _you_ just had to ruin it for me, didn't you. It wasn't just that one thought that bothered me; it was one after the other and I was so overwhelmed by it all. I got all clammy and dizzy, I nearly passed out.

Again, no! That is not me being melodramatic. These are my feelings you played with, Alice. Feelings are a fragile thing and when they're tempered with... Well, you get it. It isn't good. I'm a mess!

Anyway, back to my craptastic day. Where was I? Oh, right! So I just kept thinking about how, if you were here, you would buy me that dress even when I say no. Hell, Alice, you'd buy me the whole store and make me try everything on in one day like your own personal barbie. And that thought brought on another. I used to think you bought me things because you cared about me, you loved me and wanted me to have nice things. But now... Well, now I just think you were doing it to spite me.

You wanted to see me suffer, didn't you?

See, I have this theory. I'm thinking maybe you're like Rosalie and actually really cannot stand me. You were just a lot craftier about making me miserable and uncomfortable. Is that it? Did I hit the nail on the head with that one? I get you now, pixie. I see your game. I know your angle. I bet you're just laughing your little head off at me right now. You can still make me fear clothes from across the world. Congratulations, Alice. You played your part well.

I just don't get why? What did you all get out of messing with me? What the hell did you get? You can't even tell me.

Yeah... I just wanted to thank you for ruining my day.

Truly baffled,

Bella

p.s. Tell Edward I said hello.


End file.
